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The Top Five Comedy Triple Threats
5 - Buster Keaton
4 - Jackie Chan
3 - Mel Brooks
2 - Woody Allen
1 - Charlie Chaplin
I would've thought there would be more qualified triple threats, but we saw a lot of the same names: Kevin Smith, Zach Braff, Danny DeVito, Albert Brooks, Christopher Guest, Ben Stiller, Ron Howard...got a George Clooney vote, which is surprising because he's only made three movies, and the one outright comedy was not even funny. Harold Ramis' name came up, as did Rob Reiner's.
One of our loyal readers reminded me that in addition to Ben Stiller having a new film in theaters that he wrote, directed, and stars in, Woody Allen has a new film, too, although he doesn't make an appearance in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. So this list fit twice in one week!
Woody was always going to finish in second place, though. He's been too prolific - and let's face it, too good - to be any lower than he already is: 21 Academy Award nominations and three wins, and nearly a movie a year since the late 1960s.
However, there will never be another Charles Chaplin, arguably the first filmmaker to bring a delicate kind of poetry to directing, writing, and acting, often in the same film. Chaplin made Hitler funny...in 1940. And really, he's the yardstick for anyone who wants to write, direct, act, produce, and run a studio. And for anyone who wants to sleep with Randolph Hearst's mistress, but that's another story. That other story, by the by, reveals what "Rosebud" really means.
If Chaplin's first and Woody is second, then we've got to make room for Mel Brooks. True story: His crowning achievements, Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein, were released in the same year. How crazy is that? Two of the ten great comedies ever made, both co-written and directed by the same man, came out ten months apart? Both even received Oscar nominations in 1974, which is quite a feat.
I love when we get a pick that's completely out of the blue like this; I never would have thought of Jackie Chan on my own. However, there's no overestimating his importance to Chinese cinema and to American action films. Because of the available audience in his homeland, he's very likely the most successful movie star of all time. What sets Chan apart, and has for nearly 20 years, is the amount of comedy he typically throws into his action movies. His writing's not anything special, but his direction and his physical acting is as good as it gets in his genre. He's a true triple threat, and because of his disregard for his own safety, he's also a threat to himself a lot of the time.
We're not purposely overshadowing Buster Keaton with the presence of Chaplin, but that just tells you how great Chaplin was. In his own right, Keaton was wildly inventive and undeniably influential. His best work is concentrated in the 1920s, and he did not adapt well to changes in the industry or to rampant alcoholism, which sapped much of his creativity around the time of his greatest glory, 1927's The General.
Colin Boyd
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Movie Review - 'Bottle Shock'
Bottle ShockStarring Bill Pullman, Alan Rickman, and Chris Pine
Directed by Randall Miller
Rated PG-13
Making great wine is one of the
hardest things in the world to do, like hitting a fastball, or believing female
Chinese gymnasts are at least 16 years old. To achieve great wine requires an
obsession to detail, because who in their right mind would want to go to all
that trouble just to make lousy wine? That’s not to say there isn’t bad wine,
just that they don’t celebrate it in movies.
For me, the obsession is what was
missing from
Bottle Shock, an otherwise thoroughly
entertaining story in which wine plays as big a role as the actors. There is an
obsessive character here, a California vintner named Jim Barrett played by
Bill Pullman, but his obsession is with not
failing rather than with perfection, and they are two different things.
In 1976, a British wine snob named
Steven Spurrier (Alan
Rickman) traveled to California to see if there were any wines being
made in Napa Valley that could stand up to the rigorous standards of French
wine. Spurrier is not just surprised but bowled over by the complexities of what
he samples and believes the American wines could force even the most trained
French palette to betray itself.
We know how this journey ends –
California is now one of the world’s leading producers of wine – so there’s no mystery
here, meaning the task for Bottle Shock is to disarm and engage us with
its story. It succeeds, but not without its problems.
Barrett’s son, Bo (Chris
Pine) is our emotional center, our way into the movie, but he’s
adrift personally and professionally much of the time, and in fact, when there’s
a dispute over the gorgeous new intern (Australian blonde
Rachael Taylor) the audience is more likely to
cheer on for the more ambitious, more thoughtful underdog, Gustavo (Freddy
Rodriguez). It takes Bottle Shock undue time to get us on Bo’s
side. Even then, I’m not sure we’d follow him to the ends of the Earth.
There are, of course, very few joys in
cinema that rival watching the great Alan Rickman completely dissect a scene
with his typically laconic derision. You simply couldn’t cast his role any
better. Even though Spurrier doesn’t have loads of memorable dialogue, Rickman
delivers an incredibly memorable performance, and we should expect as much.
Freddy Rodriguez, who has found a niche more than he has stardom, is also at the
top of his game. Gustavo is the character you root for, even if you’re
apparently not always supposed to.
Even though it’s not one of the best
of the year, there is something to be said for a movie that makes you want to be
great at something, as this does for making wine. If nothing else, it can fill
you with the same passion that obviously filled the filmmakers. That passion may
have compromised their storytelling just a touch, but it’s a damn sight better
than having no passion at all.
Movie Review - 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona'
Vicky Cristina BarcelonaStarring Rebecca Hall, Scarlett Johansson, and Javier Bardem
Directed by Woody Allen
Rated PG-13
Something has stirred in
Woody
Allen over the past few years. At the beginning of this century, Allen’s
best work seemed years behind him. Match Point gave him a darker new
voice, as well as a new muse named
Scarlett Johansson. He’s made two other
films in Britain since, Scoop and Cassandra’s Dream, both of
which, like Match Point, also feature a murder.
Now the director notorious for
never leaving New York has another new location and a new theme in
Vicky
Cristina Barcelona. Allen’s maiden voyage in Spain is a glorious
postcard of some of the country’s more beautiful locales, and he feels right
at home.
Carefree love is the order of the
day, a notable contrast from Allen’s New York catalog of relationships
undone by that very thing. It is by all appearances the work of a much
younger storyteller, one with an entire world left to express. In fact,
there has been some idle chatter that the studio releasing this film, The
Weinstein Company, is actually downplaying Allen’s involvement in the TV
commercials. Frankly, if I hadn’t known it was one of Woody’s, it would be
hard to guess its lineage just by watching the film.
Allen’s cast is sensual and
alluring, with
Rebecca Hall and Johansson taking the titular journey through
Spain, where they happen upon a lothario in artist’s clothing (Javier Bardem)
who requests their company on a weekend getaway with the promise of plenty
of wine and the prospect of plenty of lovemaking. Of all the performers in
the film, Bardem conveys the most sexuality. If he ever hears no in Vicky
Cristina Barcelona, it really only means “not yet.”
Though he is attracted to both
women, Vicky finds his come-ons boorish and ludicrous. The much more
impetuous Cristina is taken in by his advances, yet the progression of the
three-headed relationship is not without its surprises.
For added drama and heat,
Penelope
Cruz is introduced about an hour in as Bardem’s crazy ex-wife. The story
doesn’t need her, though; it’s sexy enough as it is. In truth, her
appearance kind of signals a shortcoming that dooms many a movie: The story
had run its course and needed a boost. The problem with it is that the new
character re-routes our travelogue, covering ground Woody Allen has seen
many times before – the jealous lover, the jilted lover, the complications
of love.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona is
at its best as a hedonistic tale, and if it investigates anything, it should
be how difficult it is to manufacture desire. The movie is simply better
without its guilt.
This is not one of Allen’s very
best films, but it is a welcome new twist (or tryst). Along with Match
Point, this justifies why, even at 76, Woody should still make any movie
he wants to.
Movie Review - 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'
Star Wars: The Clone WarsFeaturing the voices of Matt Lanter, James Arnold Taylor, and Samuel L. Jackson
Directed by Dave Filoni
Rated PG
Although it sports crystal clear
digital animation and some of the imagination that powered the franchise in its
first two films, there are elements of
Star Wars: The Clone Wars that casual fans
might not warm up to. To a die hard Lucasian – the sort of devotee who
will see this on opening night with light sabers on his utility belt – this
could be a vital and vibrant new beginning. However, a lot of those fans have
already seen an animated Clone Wars, so they, too, may be wondering what
the score is here.
In terms of chronology, The Clone
Wars falls between Episode II and Episode III in the saga.
Jedi masters Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker are assisting the Galactic
Republic in its battle against the seceding star systems, and the war is being
waged by an army of clones against evil battle droids.
During one such battle Skywalker is
assigned a new Padawan, or apprentice, a spirited teenager named Ashoka Tano.
Purists may resent the inclusion of a new character, but she is one of the
film’s most refreshing new developments, along with the distinctive animation
style that gives new character to old characters.
The details of the story aren’t of
much consequence; Star Wars: The Clone Wars is merely an appetizer for
the animated series that debuts this fall with plans of launching about 100
episodes. This is just another adventure somewhere in the middle of the Wars.
We see an extended Hutt family, which
I’m not sure was demanding a greater thrust. Jabba and two relatives figure
prominently in the plot, perhaps even more than Obi-Wan and Yoda.
Hardcore fans won’t care, and ultimately,
they’ll decide whether this movie is successful by choosing or not choosing to
watch the series this 100-minute commercial promotes. The pristine quality of
the digital animation, even if you disagree with the exaggerated features it
gives certain faces, is a refreshing change. I like the appearance of a new
central heroine, too.
The overwhelmingly youth-oriented
dialogue could siren that Star Wars is counting on a new generation of
fans to carry the series forward from here. That remains to be seen, although
the banter between Ashoka and Skywalker (whom she calls “Sky Guy”) feels more
appropriate for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie than it does for
Star Wars.
For the casual viewer, however, the
new additions may make this movie feel longer than the Kessel Run.
Movie Review - 'Tropic Thunder'
Tropic ThunderStarring Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey, Jr.
Directed by Ben Stiller
Rated R
There have been an awful
lot of movies to skewer Hollywood over the years. The problem with most of
them, even the good ones like Robert Altman’s The Player, is that
they’re a bit too inside. They’re funnier to the actors and agents and
producers who read the scripts than they are to everyday moviegoers.
Very few movies have taken aim at the goose that laid the golden egg in a language your parents would readily understand, or your kids, for that matter. Part of that is to be expected, though; we’ve been taught to believe Hollywood movers and shakers have their own language, so we expect some inside jokes. But not many movies satirizing the motion picture industry have done so as completely or hilariously as Ben Stiller’s Tropic Thunder.
The beauty of this movie is that it would work with the same parts even without the daggers it constantly flings at the industry. Tugg Speedman (Stiller) is the world’s biggest fading action star. The world loved him in Scorcher, as the only man who could save the world from a cataclysmic climate change. By the time he starred in Scorcher VI, as the Earth was facing an ice age, the world didn’t love him nearly as much.
To change his image, Speedman took the role of a retarded stable boy in the weepy, Oscar-ready drama, Simple Jack, but the move and the movie backfired.
Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black) has made his name as a flatulent comedian. You roll your eyes, but many have taken a similar road to success.
And then there’s Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.), who might be the world’s greatest actor. He has five Academy Awards and to play the role of Sgt. Osiris in the movie Tropic Thunder, he undergoes a pigment change, the first step in his process of becoming “black” for the role.
For obvious reasons, these styles clash on set, overwhelming rookie director Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan). Within five days, the most expensive war movie ever made, is already a month behind schedule. But Cockburn and the man whose experiences in Vietnam inspired the Tropic Thunder story, Sgt. Four Leaf Tayback (Nick Nolte), devise a plan to put the prima donnas out in the middle of the same Vietnamese jungle to shoot the movie “guerilla style.”
Things do not go according to what little plan there is and soon the three stars and two actors on their way up - the rapper Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson) and quirky teen Kevin Sandusky (Jay Baruchel) - are facing a very real enemy, a gang of heroin dealers whose guns shoot real bullets. The actors, particularly Speedman, just think this is all part of the movie.
There aren’t many corners of the entertainment industry safe from Stiller’s broad-brush approach. Entertainment/tabloid shows, agents, actors, directors, studio hacks, award shows, trailers, product placement, budgetary waste, and especially executives are all shown no mercy in the script, which Stiller co-wrote with Justin Theroux and Etan Cohen.
Those are the more obvious targets. However, Stiller, as director, has made his movie about the movie adhere to the same rules a $200 million war epic would. The musical cues are all exactly what you’d think they’d be, with “Sympathy for the Devil,” Steppenwolf’s “The Pusher,” and the great Motown protest songs, “Ball of Confusion” by the Temptations and “War.” Stiller uses more action than would ever really be necessary, just like a standard war movie, and the stunts, explosions, and effects would make this a convincing war epic, which is exactly what it wants to be. Well, kind of.
There have not been many funny movies this summer. Step Brothers is hysterical, but there’s absolutely no story, so it’s afforded the great luxury of doing whatever the hell it wants for a laugh. The edge goes to Tropic Thunder, which not only manages to make a point or two about the oblivious nature of Hollywood and those who breathe it in, but it underlines those points with some of the biggest laughs in a long, long time.
The characters are perfectly devised and the performances hold nothing back. You may already have noted Downey’s otherworldly transition as something to watch for, but there is a cameo – in a movie filled with tremendous cameos – that gives Downey a run for his money. But I wouldn’t dare give that away here.
Movie Review - 'Hell Ride'
Hell RideStarring Larry Bishop, Michael Madsen, and Eric Balfour
Directed by Larry Bishop
Rated R
Bad movies come in all
shapes and sizes. They can be low-budget (and with good reason), or they can
be $180 million disasters. They can have big stars and they can have
nobodies. Some trainwrecks are so bad you can't look away and some are
simply bad enough to keep you away in the first place.
Hell Ride is a bad movie. Very bad. But it's not magnificently bad, the kind of awful that requires that you see the carnage for yourself. It's unclear to me whether writer-director-star Larry Bishop (son of Rat Packer Joey Bishop) wanted to make a glorious, exploitive piece of garbage, if he wanted to make something good and failed horribly, or if he just got lucky - kind of - and his piece of garbage was actually elevated by some of the things in the film that almost make it a serious effort.
What is clear, however, is that this is still a bad movie.
Hell Ride is about two warring motorcycle gangs, the Victors (Bishop, Michael Madsen, and Eric Balfour) and the Six-Six-Sixers (Vinnie Jones and David Carradine). In 1976, the Sixers brutally murdered Cherokee, the main squeeze of Johnny Pistolero (that's Bishop, casting himself in the main role). After all these years, it's time for payback.
This movie has the most gratuitous nudity of any film released in 2008. So there's that. It also has a lot of gunplay and the most imaginatively wretched dialogue I've ever heard. What these characters say is so bizarre and outlandish you start to wonder whether or not it's just practice dialogue, a joke between the actors as they rehearsed the scene while the crew set up the next shot. Particularly bad is a scene in the middle of nowhere between Johnny Pistolero and his sultry assistant (Leonor Varela) in which the sexual metaphor of a fire hose is used nearly two dozen times.
Hell Ride is a Quentin Tarantino production, and it's very clear in everything from the musical cues to the attempts at clever, idiosyncratic dialogue, and from the casting of Michael Madsen to the violence and mayhem that Larry Bishop wants us to think this is a Tarantino film. It's just a bad imitation.
What prevents this from being magnificently bad? The atmosphere, for starters, which is deadly accurate for a movie like this, and some of the directorial decisions Bishop makes, such as the depiction of a peyote hallucination, which is better than Oliver Stone could manage in The Doors.
Sadly, though, Bishop's flourishes of competence prevent this from being the truly awful classic it otherwise should be.
Movie Review - 'Man on Wire'
Man on WireFeaturing Philippe Petit, Paul McGill, and Annie Allix
Directed by James Marsh
Rated PG-13
1974 had already been
marked by Hank Aaron's record-breaking swing, terrorist bombings in Northern
Ireland, a coup d'etat in Cyprus, Vietnam, and the Watergate scandal. Within
two weeks after Philippe Petit, the world would see Nixon's resignation, the
botched assassination attempt of the South Korean President that killed his
first lady, Evel Knievel's doomed Snake Canyon jump, The Texas Chainsaw
Massacre, and the Rumble in the Jungle.
But for 45 minutes on August 7th, Philippe Petit stopped the world for one morning and forced everyone in it to look up. Perched about a quarter-mile in the air, Petit delicately walked a high wire between the two towers of the World Trade Center.
He did it because it's what he did. Petit had previously scaled much smaller local landmarks throughout Europe and even in Australia, but once he saw newspaper articles about the construction of what was to become the world's tallest structures (at least temporarily), Petit knew it would be his destiny.
Man on Wire is a great documentary, full of life, humor, archival footage, and recreations bursting with authentic detail. But this is also, as Rich Cline from Shadows on the Wall points out, a great heist movie. You don't just throw a rope between the two buildings and hope for the best. Petit had visited the towers several times, sneaking onto the roof to examine the layout of the buildings so that he and a crew of over half a dozen people would know exactly what to do when the time came.
His confederates posed as workmen to break into the building on the night of August 6th, hiding in the shadows while security guards patrolled the highest floors of the first tower. And then, as the New York streets began to fill with workers ready for another day, they saw a Frenchman suspended by only a one-inch wide cable, as close to the heavens and as close to death as they'd ever seen anyone walk before.
Director James Marsh has spoken to everyone he could grab; most of the members of Petit's team consented to interviews, despite feelings of the event now that are obviously bittersweet. For reasons that make sense and for some that may not, it's impossible for Petit and his friends to find a proper perspective for August 1974; he seems to have lost touch with nearly every one of them, and the explanation given is that it was just the end of their road.
There's a great bit of dialogue in Adaptation in which Chris Cooper explains to Meryl Streep why his wife divorced him after a car crash that should have killed both of them. "Because she could," he said. And perhaps it's the same rationale here, with Petit flirting with death and his friends so exhilarated and worried, that walking away from each other was all that was left. In its own way, their distance proves that you don't need to be 1,300 feet in the air to walk a high wire act with somebody; you can fall just as hard with your feet on the ground.
Man on Wire is the year's most entertaining and welcome documentary. In an age when we are again surrounded by evil, a society in constant search for answers and assistance, the tone of the day felt in the serious work of our filmmakers, here's a moment in time that stops the world and forces everyone to look up.
The Top Five Stoners
5 - Jay and Silent Bob (Almost Every Kevin Smith Movie)
4 - David Wooderson (Dazed and Confused)
3 - The Dude (The Big Lebowski)
2 - Jeff Spicoli (Fast Times at Ridgemont High)
1 - Cheech and Chong
It's hard to imagine modern comedy without the stoner. Cheech and Chong were really the trailblazers in this department, unabashedly letting the dope lead them on their bizarre adventures. Yes, there were stoners before - we received votes for Jack Perry in Reefer Madness - and there have been an awful lot of good ones (and bad ones since).
My only regret is that the dudes from the opening of Super Troopers couldn't make the cut. You remember, the guys in the car completely baked out of their gourds who get pulled over by the troopers? Damn funny. But that's just how good this competition was. Still, it's one of the best stoner scenes in the movies, so perhaps we'll bring it back sometime.
Because the top three were almost universal selections, we don't have as many other choices as we normally might. Here are the ones that got away: Roul Duke from Fear and Loathing, Harold and Kumar, Floyd from True Romance, Ron Slater from Dazed and Confused, Alex from Grandma's Boy, Jesse and Chester (Dude, Where's My Car?), Ben Stone (Knocked Up), Silas P. Silas (How High), Craig Jones from Friday, and the entire cast of Half-Baked.
Movie Review - 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2'
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2Starring Alexis Bledel, America Ferrera, Blake Lively, and Amber Tamblyn
Directed by Sanaa Hamri
Rated PG-13
For what it set out to
accomplish, the first
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was a
good movie. The Godfather has nothing to worry about, of course, but
as a film aimed at girls in their awkward teenage years, Sisterhood
had a lot of good qualities. Certainly, it had more really good qualities
than mediocre ones.
The stories seemed relevant to that audience and believable to those who may not be in the target demographic, the friendships had their ups and downs, and the performances – particularly by America Ferrera – were authentic and noteworthy.
In 2005, the film was something of a showcase for stars of a pair of TV series that enjoyed a big youth following, Amber Tamblyn from Joan of Arcadia and Alexis Bledel of Gilmore Girls. Fast forward three years and they’re the hangers-on in a sense; now, pop culture can’t get enough of Ferrera, an Emmy winner in Ugly Betty, and Blake Lively, the striking blonde star of Gossip Girl.
Even though the profile might be higher for Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 because of its gossiped girls, its quality is significantly lower. The first film was well-meaning, frank, and provided valuable lessons for teens about everything from open communication with their parents to sex, but the sequel devolves into more of a two-hour soap opera.
The conflicts never have a chance to develop organically and instead, every situation that happens to the four girls needs instant and overly dramatic resolution. Even the natural order of things – the growing emotional distance between four girls who now attend different colleges – can’t simply exist. It must explode.
There isn’t very much that’s special about this follow-up, despite more good performances. Even brief Blythe Danner and Shohreh Aghdashloo sightings fail to move the needle very much.
The pants still fit all the girls perfectly. It’s the plot that needs work.
Movie Review - 'Pineapple Express'
Pineapple ExpressStarring Seth Rogen, James Franco, and Gary Cole
Directed by David Gordon Green
Rated R
Pineapple Express certainly comes at you
with all it has, but that might be the problem. It's an interesting mix of a
stoner comedy and an action movie, and individually, those things are well
represented here. It's when the stoner comedy has to have an ending like an
action movie that Pineapple Express loses its way.
This is another movie that has received Judd Apatow's blessing, and to his legion of fans, this movie will probably rank somewhere below the late summer entry of 2007, Superbad. The reason being: Pineapple Express doesn't have a naturally funny premise. It's not about two guys who shouldn't score hot chicks trying to score hot chicks. This is about two potheads on the run from guys who want to kill them. As evidence of their intentions, the bad guys shoot several people along the way. That's why it's hard to fit everything together when the two worlds collide.
Dale (Seth Rogen, who also co-wrote the script) is a process server, and he's on his way to subpoena another ne'er-do-well named Ted (Gary Cole). Before he walks up Ted's sidewalk, Dale enjoys a brand new joint made from Pineapple Express, a rare blend of marijuana so potent, his dealer Saul (James Franco) compares it to God's vagina. I'm still not sure how that works.
But mid-toke, Dale sees Ted blow a guy's brains out, the blood splattering all over the windows. Stunned and afraid, Dale tries to leave the scene but repeatedly rams into cars parked along the street. The commotion alerts Ted and a crooked cop (Rosie Perez) to his presence, and the only lead they have is the joint Dale tossed from his car while making his escape.
The only catch is, Ted recognizes the Pineapple Express because he's one of the city's big drug suppliers, and within a couple of phone calls, he could track the pot down to the dealer, putting both Saul and Dale in serious danger.
The buddy aspects of Pineapple Express are incredibly rewarding. It reminded me a bit of Midnight Run, the great crime comedy with Charles Grodin and Robert DeNiro. Dale and Saul have one thing in common: Weed. Otherwise, they're pretty different, and Rogen and Franco capture the clashing personalities perfectly. In fact, this is the best I've seen James Franco since he masterfully embodied James Dean in an Emmy-nominated performance for a TV movie about five years ago.
The action, while well-plotted and executed as furious chases and races against time, manage to keep the humor alive for about 90 minutes. There's a hilarious fight between Saul and Dale and Red (Danny McBride), another drug dealer who works for Ted. In part because you can't take these characters too seriously, it's goofy violence, even though it's fairly violent and surprisingly bloody.
But when we get to the payoff, Pineapple Express loses its sense of humor and develops a sense of purpose, which is exactly what a movie like this doesn't need. The characters take on traits they've never shown before and the stakes become, if you'll pardon the expression, too high.
It's worth seeing for James Franco, however, whose comedic timing is terrific and who makes Saul more than the caricature most actors would allow him to be.
There are still some very funny moments here, and the dialogue is first-rate. Even the throwaway lines beat a lot of punchlines in most of the comedies this year. But this one suffers in comparison not only to other Apatow movies, particularly Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Superbad (another Rogen script), but also Step Brothers, which is as stupid as it could possibly be, and rightfully avoids a conclusion that betrays the characters it had built for an hour-and-a-half.
The Top Five Worst August Movies
5 - Anaconda: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
4 - Smokey and the Bandit Part 3
3 - Master of Disguise
2 - Gigli
1 - Howard the Duck
This is one of those lists that needs no further explanation. It's definitely subjective to say Master of Disguise is worse that Gigli, but objectively, we can say that every movie on the list does not meet or exceed the minimum definition of mediocrity. You should be made aware, though, that Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 is the one where Jerry Reed played Bandit. Bad move, bad movie.
And when we presented you with this challenge last week, I said we'd have no problem making a Top 20 list. So we have. But to show you how lousy August really is, here's a list of nominees that didn't even make that list: The Dukes of Hazard, Underdog, Snakes on a Plane, Balls of Fury, Invasion, Bubble Boy, Free Willy 3, Air America, Osmosis Jones, Step Up, The Replacements, Airheads, A Very Brady Sequel, Idlewild, Wagon's East, Leave it to Beaver, Exorcist: The Beginning, The Invasion, The Medallion, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, Dudley Do-Right, Xanadu, and Zoom.
Brace yourself; this one's gonna hurt:
20 - Steel
19 - Masters of the Universe
18 - Air Bud
17 - Air Bud: Golden Receiver
16 - Return to the Blue Lagoon
15 - The Adventures of Pluto Nash
14 - Three Ninjas
13 - Disorderlies
12 - The Avengers
11 - Bratz
10 - Serving Sara
9 - The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu
8 - The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
7 - Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
6 - SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2
5 - Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid
4 - Smokey and the Bandit Part 3
3 - Master of Disguise
2 - Gigli
1 - Howard the Duck
Wow. That's a bunch of bad movies.
Movie Review - 'American Teen'
American TeenFeaturing Hannah Bailey, Colin Clemens, Megan Krizmanich, and Geoff Haase
Directed by Nanette Burstein
Rated PG-13
If they had shown
American Teen to me before I went to high
school, I would've run for my life: Next stop, the lawless backwoods of
Canada. (We didn't study other countries in my high school, so I assume
they're all lawless backwoods.)
Documentary filmmaker Nanette Burstein has so adeptly captured the constant ups and downs of the high school that there's as much "I'm glad it's not me" in your reactions as there is "Oh wait, that is me." As her subject, Burstein has chosen Warsaw High School in Warsaw, Indiana, and to draw out the desired results, she leans on the teachings of the man who knows more about teen angst than anyone else: John Hughes.
Sure, the poster emulates The Breakfast Club, but Burstein also uses the characters from that film to instruct her own. Quite proudly, American Teen boasts The Jock, The Geek, The Rebel, The Princess, and The Heartthrob. Burstein follows them through their senior year, which for most of us, is the biggest year of our lives to that point. There's stress about college, relationships, being your own adult, and American Teen manages to capture all of that with painful accuracy.
As with any movie, there are people you root for and people you don't. But the film doesn't guide you in any direction. For example, I didn't absolutely connect with the artistic Hannah Bailey, who is as close to a leading character as the film has. Instinctively, I think Burstein is rooting for her, but I went another way. I still appreciate Hannah's story, because I definitely knew students like her in high school, but in a movie like this more than most others, you'll pick your partner pretty early and stick with him or her regardless of what lies ahead.
Burstein was a co-director of the absolute gem of a documentary called The Kid Stays in the Picture, the film adaptation of legendary producer Robert Evans' autobiography. She didn't judge Evans, who clearly has his own view of the world and show business, and she doesn't judge the students in this film. Their decisions have immediate and in some cases everlasting effects, and she allows them to make mistakes and celebrate victories in equal measure, watching them learn about life along the way.
It's a tremendously thorough documentary considering it's only 95 minutes long. And what it proves is that high school can be hell, for one day, one week, or four years, the kind of hell you can only get when you're seventeen. A lot of viewers will watch American Teen and look back on their own glory days fondly. This movie is for them as much as it is for those of us who couldn't wait for the whole damn thing to end.
Movie Review - 'Swing Vote'
Swing VoteStarring Kevin Costner, Madeline Carroll, and Kelsey Grammer
Directed by Joshua Michael Stern
Rated PG-13
A good political satire
is harder to find than you might think. When one makes the grade, however,
whether it's Dr. Strangelove or Being There or Thank You
For Smoking, it’s notable for not only expressing a basic distrust in
the people who keep the political machine firing but also for finding a way
to express that message in a clear, intelligent way.
Now you can count Swing Vote among their ranks.
It isn’t the best of the bunch, but it has a serious subject on its mind, which it jabs softly for a while before moving in with the knockout punch. Its premise is no more fantastical than Dave, in which a presidential impersonator becomes the leader of the free world. Bud (Kevin Costner) is an unemployed single father who gets tanked on Election Day and doesn’t vote. Instead, his civic minded daughter (Madeline Carroll) casts his vote while nobody’s looking.
But the vote doesn’t tally because of a technical glitch. As it happens, that ballot will decide the entire race. So Bud – the last person you want making this decision – is electing the next president himself.
The candidates, Kelsey Grammer and Dennis Hopper (Hopper running for office is a truly scary notion), fly to New Mexico to court his vote, changing their platforms based on the whims of an uneducated drunk. The film’s funniest moments are the tasteless and out-of-place campaign ads used to curry Bud’s favor.
The movie breezes by lightly for a good 20 minutes at the beginning and for roughly another 20 or 30 minutes about an hour in. It is, after all, a comedy. There's less to like about Swing Vote here, because it's a better, smarter film than that. Or at least it shows signs of being smarter in between, when there are still laughs but there's more satirizing both an enterprising two-party political machine hungry for attention and a general malaise among those disconnected from that process, and how these two worlds can't ever speak the same language while their busy speaking their own.
Costner is best in roles like this, where he can be a little rough around the edges. And Swing Vote, which has a much smarter script than the trailers and ads give it credit for, is graced by the skill and charm of the 12-year-old Carroll, who illustrates exactly why grown ups with responsibilities should take that civic duty more seriously.
It will not be uncommon for you to hear comparisons of this film to the Frank Capra classics of the late 1930s and 1940s. Over the years, the meaning of Capraeque has been watered down, and now people think it just means syrupy and sentimental, and shows characters winning despite big odds because that's what gives a movie its happy ending. That's not it, though. In fact, the American Heritage Dictionary defines Capraesque this way:
"Of or evocative of the movies of Frank Capra, often promoting the positive social effects of individual acts of courage."
That description fits Swing Vote, which more than anything, pushes educating yourself and being involved, not just politically but also personally. You may argue that it's not courageous to vote. Really? Then why do tens of millions avoid it like cowards every four years?
Movie Review - 'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor'
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon EmperorStarring Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello, and Jet Li
Directed by Rob Cohen
Rated PG-13
This summer has seen its fair share of smart movies loaded with action. When that change occurred,
when summer movies left the pure popcorn appeal behind for something more
substantive, is hard to pinpoint, but this is not a marketplace that could
be dominated by the paper-thin likes of Armageddon and Godzilla
anymore. Now we have dark comic book heroes and intelligent Pixar movies
sprouting like weeds. Of course, there are still dumb movies out there, but
they don't carry as much clout as they once did.
If you're feeling nostalgic for stupidity, however, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is for you. This is a big, dumb summer movie, and when you look at the type of material around it in theaters this year, it really stands out, like the six-foot-tall fifth grader who already needs to shave. Yes, Tomb of the Dragon Emperor has been held back a year or two.
Of course, why should the franchise change its course now? The first Mummy, released at a time when we enjoyed mindless fluff, was exactly that - a silly concept with some good effects and a bit of the ol' blockbuster magic. It's not a great film, but it was a perfectly fine diversion, surprising, even. The second movie was moronic and the visual effects were lousy. Also, things like this usually aren't as fun for us the second time. That's just our nature.
So it would be difficult to give a third Mummy movie the gravitas of Gotham City out of the clear blue. Instead, adventurers Rick and Evelyn O'Connell (Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello, taking over for Rachel Weisz) travel to China where their now fully-grown son (Luke Ford) has unearthed one of the great archaeological finds ever: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor. Legend has it that the Emperor (Jet Li) was cursed by a wizard (Michelle Yeoh) for his bloodlust, and he and his entire army was transformed into statues. Like everything else, there's a loophole: The Emperor can be awakened through a series of convoluted steps, and if he is, he'll show the world no mercy.
So by the time he is awakened, we're pretty hungry for some action. After all, if anyone appears more uncomfortable by Maria Bello's presence and her flimsy accent than Bello herself, it's Brendan Fraser, who comes off like a guy going on his first date years after a divorce left him shattered. He never has the connection with his leading lady that he did in the first two movies, and that makes watching their scenes just as uncomfortable for us.
The action and visual effects, the entrees in a movie of this type, are just OK. Some effects look a lot better than others, and anytime a movie needs to call on a pack of Yeti to bail out the heroes...well, I don't really need to finish that thought, do I? Jet Li makes an effective villain, and I could've used more of him and his vendetta against Michelle Yeoh. In truth, this movie would have worked much better as a Scorpion King-style spinoff, without Brendan Fraser or Maria Bello in it at all.
But then, of course, it might not be the trip down memory lane in good ol' Dumbville this movie clearly is. Unfortunately for The Mummy series, a lot of us have moved out of Dumbville, leaving no forwarding address.
Movie Review - 'The Stone Angel'
The Stone AngelStarring Ellen Burstyn, Christine Horne, and Cole Hauser
Directed by Kari Skogland
Rated R
The Stone Angel by Margaret Laurence is a
classic, slightly controversial book, chronicling a few generations in the
Shipley clan in a fictional town in Manitoba through the eyes of its
matriarch. It looks back over the life of Hagar Shipley (played in the film
by
Ellen Burstyn and, in her youth,
Christine Horne), who now in her 90s, is
resisting her family's push to get her into a nursing home, for the reasons
that people would naturally resist that move.
The story has the dual timeline of the present day events and sprinkled in with Hagar's eventful past. The Notebook would be a good comparison, at least as a general introduction. But applying its story, themes, and characters into a two-hour film proves to be too much for director Kari Skogland, who tries her damndest but comes up short.
It's no fault of the performers, though; Burstyn provides her typical day at the office, which is to say, she's reason enough to see the film. And while it's a scary prospect to play an actress of such power as a younger woman, Horne does a terrific job, although her take on the character is slightly more sensual, less prickly. Movies that have characters playing double duty are hard to pull off. I thought it was one of the absolute triumphs of Atonement last years, where three actresses are shown playing the same role, and it's similarly effective here.
There's an Ellen Page sighting in The Stone Angel, although I would think it would be more of a primary role. That statement actually underscores the major problem with the movie, which is otherwise pretty good. I talk about efficiency all the time when it comes to screenplays, and it's a tough thing to achieve when you adapt a book, particularly when you're Canadian and you're fitting one of that country's literary achievements into two hours. Novels have time to explore whomever or whatever for how ever long they so choose. Movies, like it or not, have time limits. And if your source material covers several decades and weaves in dozens of characters, it's tough to know what to leave in and what to take out. But you can't possibly get everything into the movie, so editing can be a burdensome and heartbreak process.
But if the movie's better for it, than it's absolutely worth it. Unfortunately, The Stone Angel is not all the better for it; there's trepidation to streamline the journey of Hagar Shipley, and it shakes up the real backbone of the story and almost spoils two arresting central performances.