Movie Review - 'Alvin and the Chipmunks'

Alvin and the Chipmunks

Starring Jason Lee, David Cross and the voice of Justin Long
Directed by Tim Hill
Rated PG

Clearly, Alvin and the Chipmunks is a movie for kids, right? Then tell that to the character played by comedian David Cross, a slimy record executive preying on the success of the singing chipmunks after their Christmas song becomes an immediate hit. Throughout, he makes references that would be well beyond the comprehension of a typical 8-year-old, more or less the target demo for this flick. These references and asides are intended to be amusing, but to whom?

If you find Cross’ antics funny, then chances are you’ll be bored stiff by those scenes in Alvin and the Chipmunks kids might actually enjoy: Alvin breaking wind in the face of Dave Seville (Jason Lee), the requisite house is a mess scene, and other various shenanigans perpetrated by Alvin, Simon and Theodore.

It’s an uncomfortable balance, made even easier to resist when you discover that the only good thing about the movie is hearing “The Chipmunk Song” in its original form about three times. Oh, there’s a new version of the song, too, given a punk rock twist to very little effect, and there’s a small handful of other songs, none of which sound as good in your ears as the internal refrain, “We should go ask for our money back.”

The Chipmunks happen into the life of struggling songwriter Seville, who immediately and naturally thinks he’s crazy when his visitors start talking and then harmonizing. Thanks, filmmakers; we really needed that Chipmunk back story. Crucial.

The voices for the Chipmunks have been provided by Justin Long (Live Free or Die Hard), former model Matthew Gray Gubler and singer Jesse McCartney, all of whom dodge a bullet by having their voices altered and by never being seen in this dire attempt at family entertainment. It’s kind of like being a mob informant interviewed on 60 Mintues, only with a terrible soundtrack. And remember, the soundtrack for 60 Minutes is just a ticking stopwatch, so what does that tell you?

Jason Lee and David Cross don’t leave unscathed, though. Cross seems desperate for a job and Lee seems incapable of recognizing what an awful idea this whole movie is. The good news is, if Lee were to incorporate his TV character’s manner of going around apologizing for his wrongdoing, there won’t be too many people seeing this, which means his nationwide apology tour shouldn’t take that long.

But if kids will be bored by the villain and if adults remember the Chipmunks from better, earlier incarnations, then this movie has no shot, which is about what it deserves.