5 - Double Dragon

4 - Bloodrayne

3 - Alone in the Dark

2 - Wing Commander

1 - Super Mario Bros.

            Robert Patrick, clearly shameless, in Double Dragon

There have been a whole lot of really, really bad video game movies, at least if you're talking percentages. It's still not as big a commodity as comic book movies, but even comic book movies weren't prevalent until they started making good ones on a consistent basis. Seriously, when Tomb Raider is one of your genre's defining moments, you have a lot of work left to do.

But narrowing the worst of the video game movies down to five takes some diligence, probably more than was shown when the films were being made. You can, of course, go the easy route and list a bunch of Uwe Boll movies. We have two, and that gets the point across. One reason these movies are dreadful more often than not is that studios don't use a lot of resources on them. Look at the writers and directors; not a lot of Oscar nominations in that pool.

Double Dragon is a perfect example of those limited resources. For one thing, the movie came out about five years after the popularity of the game, and there's no real story, because the game had no real story, at least not by today's standards. Plus, it has Vanna White as a news anchor. Who would ever believe that?

Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark are our Uwe Boll contributions. He's generally regarded as the world's worst director. Even Brian Robbins and Raja Gosnell roll their eyes at his movies. I think that these two flicks could be better in the hands of someone competent. They probably wouldn't be great, but they'd rise to the level of the second Resident Evil movie, maybe.

I remember seeing Wing Commander and not knowing it was based on a video game. Then when I found out it was a game, I had a hard time rationalizing how it ever became popular enough to get a movie spin-off. Also, Freddie Prinze, Jr. That's all I have to say, isn't it?

But Super Mario Bros. is clearly the worst pick, in my book, and in fact, it's one of the worst movies ever made. Amazingly, the video box actually contains the quote, "Hilarious and exciting...a cross between Indiana Jones, Blade Runner, and Star Wars." I have a hunch that's the studio's handiwork. Either that, or the blurbster responsible has never seen Indiana Jones, Blade Runner, or Star Wars.

There are some elements of the other four films that are at least OK, whether it's the costumes, or a funny scene, or even a cool stunt or two. I'm not asking for much. But Super Mario is a total failure. It was in 1993, and it hasn't improved since. To quote Bob Hoskins, who played Mario Mario: "The worst thing I ever did? Super Mario Bros."