Get Ready for 'Axel Foley and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'

Maybe we should develop some sort of theory, like Einstein or Danica McKellar of The Wonder Years, and apply it to sequels that skip an entire generation. Make it have something to do with calculating greed with desperation divided by an integer of audience disinterest/displeasure. Paramount, enamored with their Indiana Jones success, will now revive Beverly Hills Cop. Surprise, surprise: Eddie Murphy - who can't tell a male hooker from a female hooker, so how can you expect him to know a good script from a bad one these days? - is set to return as Axel Foley. And even though yesterday we echoed a report that said Brett Ratner might be angling to direct a God of War adaptation, today he's all about Beverly Hills Cop Quatro, which is good news, at least for God of War fans. According to Variety, Murphy himself approached the studio about bringing back Beverly Hills Cop, and even Jerry Bruckheimer is keeping his distance this time. Man, that sentence was full of career barometric readings, wasn't it? Paramount is hoping to get the film on their summer 2010 release schedule, which barely gives us enough time to build our bunkers for the surefire apocalypse to follow. On the plus side, though, working with Brett Ratner is an exponential leap forward for Murphy from bottom-of-the-barrel Brian Robbins (The Shaggy Dog, Norbit). I hate to sound down on this, but Jesus Quincy Adams, hasn't anyone seen the third one? The one with Joey Travolta? You just don't come back from that. Humor me, please, while I analogize: The Beverly Hills Cop series was like a tasty, hand-delivered jug of ice cold milk when it hit our lips in 1984. By the time we got to the sequel, we needed to take a whiff first to make sure it was safe to drink. Then, some jackass left it out all day and by the time part three came around the whole jug had spoiled. That milk won't get any fresher if you leave it in the fridge for 15 damn years! Buy a new jug already!

Comments

[Will]

OMG.

Let the man on man action begin...

'Nuff said...

[Will]

Oh, and if this isn't proof that the Paramount producers aren't checking your site daily, then I don't know what is...

Strike the OMG comment from earlier...

Make that an OMFG.

[JMK]

Still regretting that 3 DDA rating you gave Norbit, Colin? I say it's not too late to switch it with the 1 DDA you gave Clerks 2...

[Get The Big Picture]

1. Yes.
2. No.

[Will]

Hey what movie can't use a good Donkey show?