Alicia Keys to Sing Bond Song?

Saturday

12Jul2008

Saturday, July 12, 2008 at 11:36PM

It's not often that things make me happy. I am, however, downright jovial about this prospect.

In a report filed by E!, it appears that Amy Winehouse may not sing the theme song to the new James Bond movie, after all. Here are the reasons this makes me happy, or if you prefer, offers me a Quantum of Solace: Remember the swing craze of 1998? Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Cherry Poppin' Daddies? That's Amy Winehouse. Even if she straightens her shit out, which seems unlikely at best, she has a short shelf life as an artist. I don't care if you think she's talented; lots of talented singers fall off the face of the Earth. Or do you know where Fiona Apple is these days?

Winehouse is different, true, but she's also overhyped and people are tired of the act. Good album, I'll grant you that, but the next one is probably going to be exactly the same, only with a lot more slurring. And her husband may be in prison for the CD release party.

I also believe as a matter of principle that it's bad form to go around rewarding dangerously addicted personalities who clearly can't pull it together. Why not have her duet with Pete Doherty? That'd show 'em! Seriously, don't give the addict more chances to think her behavior is tolerable. She has bigger problems.

The final reason I'm happy about this is that apparently, Alicia Keys is the pick to replace her. I don't love Alicia's music nearly as much as I'm in awe of her voice and overall talent, so I'm hoping that the song is more 007 than "My Boo" and that Alicia just flat wails on the thing. Vocally, she's clearly more adept than Wino.

There were a few choices, though, before producers apparently settled on Keys. Beyoncé, Leona Lewis, Duran Duran, Jack White, Duffy, and Annie Lennox were all rumored possibilities. Annie Lennox with Jack White would be awesome, but I still think I like Keys the most out of that group.

I do hope, for Alicia's sake, that they don't call the song "Quantum of Solace." What would those lyrics be like?

Oooh...it's a quantum of solace

Why won't James Bond call us

Before danger befalls us

Envelopes and walls us

Hey, these models are braless

Silhouetted but braless

And these credits are flawless

To...Quantum of Solace...

Colin Boyd |

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Reader Comments (1)

Did you compose these lyrics on a napkin while having a wet lunch with Amy Winehouse?

Sunday, July 13, 2008 |

Will

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