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Monday
25Aug2008

Batman Rumor #34: Cher to Play Catwoman

When you're the biggest movie in a decade like The Dark Knight is and you're tailor made for making a splash with your casting the way its eventual follow-up is, it's not surprising that we're hearing lots of theories on the next Batman movie, which for the sake of editorial consistency, we'll call The Dark Knight Returns until something else comes along.

We've heard The Riddler, Catwoman, and The Penguin, none of which I'm inclined to believe just yet, if only because they feel like played out characters. We've also heard a few supposed casting rumblings, but nothing quite like this: Cher as Catwoman?

The Telegraph cites a "studio executive" who says, "Cher is Nolan's first choice to play Catwoman. He wants to her to portray her like a vamp in her twilight years." The source adds, "The new Catwoman will be the absolute opposite of Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry's purring creations."

First of all, does that last sentence sound like something a real person would say? Nope. It sounds like a gossip monger: "Purring creations." Please.

Secondly, the Telegraph piece says that the film is called The Caped Crusader and claims that Cher would join Johnny Depp in the cast. He has not been handed the role of The Riddler. It may happen one day, but it hasn't happened yet. It has also not been mentioned by any Warner Bros. executive in the past week - when they've been doing a lot of talking - that filming will begin next year in Vancouver, another claim in the article.

So, all in all, they're either breaking every bit of news you need for the next Batman movie, and doing so before Christopher Nolan has signed a deal to return (which would also mean the script hasn't been written), or it's a completely unreliable story. I choose the latter.

If it were true, I'd have major issues with this idea, most notably that you'd have to introduce the Robin character just so there's an actor on set young enough for Cher to date.

Secondarily, wouldn't that be an absolutely tragic choice? Cher would be 65 when that movie would be released (although parts of her would be as young as four or five), and it would be terribly sad if Batman were reduced to fighting a villain already being described as over the hill. So how much of a threat could she be? See what I mean? I can't think anyone would get behind that? I mean, if you're casting someone of retirement age, isn't Julie Newmar the obvious choice?

I call bullshit.

In other, more concrete, Batman-related news, Michael Keaton, heretofore believed to be the best Caped Crusader, has joined the talented cast of Toy Story 3. IESB says that Keaton will provide the voice of Ken, as in Barbie and Ken, for the 3-D installment of the greatest cartoon franchise ever.

Keeping the timeline fairly accurate, the plot this time around follows Andy's toys to a day care center, where they've been donated after the kid goes to college. Jodi Benson, the voice of Ariel from The Little Mermaid and the new DVD sequel, Ariel Goes Wild on Spring Break or whatever, will return as the voice of Barbie when Toy Story 3 pops up in theaters on June 18, 2010.

Reader Comments (9)

HahahahaAHAHHAhahahaAHaHahaHa Ho Ho Hee Hee Aha Aha...

...and I thought my jokes were bad.

Monday, August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoker

Women can be dangerous whatever their age.

Monday, August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLengthy Johnson

Excellent point. I can't really counter that. And as Kipling once said, "The female of the species is more deadly than the male."

Monday, August 25, 2008 | Registered CommenterColin Boyd

Cher! It's so bizarre, it's such a curveball, but it's so cunning. Nolan, ever grounded, has found a very interesting common denominator. The Cat Lady. Lonely, desires unfulfilled, a little cooky, maybe. Usually there's a high sexual charge there as well. Maybe she likes to live beyond her means. Does that sound like anyone you know? It's a freakin' demographic! Obviously, i'm full of it, but that could work. Isn't it more exciting to hear about more...eclectic cast choices. Johnny Depp, while brilliant, is so obvious it's type casting. At least we've got a few years to come up with new, fun ideas.

Monday, August 25, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdrand

That's why they gave Kipling the Nobel Prize ;)

Nolan has shown a strong preference for British and Australian actors so I wouldn't be surprised to see a Brit or Aussie as a new villain.

With the success of The Dark Knight, I'm sure he could have anyone, so why not Nicole Kidman in some shape or form? Even Russel Crowe might want to do it (but I am sure Bale would veto that as he would be upstaged even more than he was by Ledger).

By the way, I saw "Insomnia" again last night and it still rocks the ass off TDK. It builds a very palpabe tension and atmosphere with meticulous shots in exactly the opposite way as TDK squanders them with cramped editing.

Monday, August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLengthy Johnson

Cher to play Catwoman: People often forget how good actress she is. Also, I'd like to see someone talking about her acting capability!?? Or range of roles - let's say has anyone seen Mask, Tea with Mussolini, or Moonstruck...

Monday, August 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCUNY

No, no and no. ;)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLengthy Johnson

While Cher would certainly be a mistake, it would be prudent to install Selina Kyle as the new love interest/villain in the third batman/dark knight flick. She certainly should be younger, or as young, as Bruce. She should have a background story. And she shouldn't be played like Michelle Pfeifer played her.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNate H

Although what happens alot is some people that comment negatively are ones that don't know Cher very well,,are most likely the younger generation,,everyone is entitled to their own opinions..theirs still the generous amount that are indeed nice people out their ..The majority of us Canadians appreciate these fine singers, and actresses..Like beautiful Cher,,so she would make nice catwoman for she's one of the best diva's,,an original, everything to your best you can think of just like our own mothers,,they are beautiful..one is as beautiful like their mams. Thanx..........perclyn from Ont.Can.

Saturday, October 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

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