Sunday
Aug312008
Sunday, August 31, 2008 at 10:53AM IMDB Says 'Disaster Movie' is the Worst Movie of All Time
After sitting through over six years of awful movies,
never moving from my stance that
Swept Away was the worst I'd seen in years, I
changed my tune this week. You see, I saw
Disaster Movie.
There had been many contenders, some unprofessionally
made garbage, others completely misguided major studio fare, but neither
Gigli nor Catwoman nor Pluto Nash nor Son of the Mask
nor The Love Guru could reach the highest of lows.
There is something different about Disaster Movie,
which appears to purposely avoid being funny or perhaps more accurately, appears
to purposely choose to be unfunny. There's no story, no good performances, no
imagination, just a downpour of bad celebrity impressions - all of which have to
be introduced to the audience - and the occasional nod to a disaster movie,
which never amounts to anything.
Finally, I had a new answer to the question, "What's the
worst movie you've ever seen?" I can't count Freddy Got Fingered, because
I walked out, the only time in my career I've made that statement. Outside of
that possibility, I can say that in the past decade of reviewing movies, nothing
I've seen touches Disaster Movie.
And now IMDB voters are backing me up. The movie soared
to the number one position on the Bottom 100 list on its opening weekend,
surpassing the likes of
Who's Your Caddy,
Zombie Nation, and previous title holder,
Ben & Arthur, whatever that is. Not
counting my yet-to-be-cast vote of zero stars, Disaster Movie currently
has an IMDB ranking of 1.3, which is fairly generous. Here's a look at the
revised top ten:
Let's keep it in its rightful place; if you've got an
IMDB account, vote with your heart. I'd never ask you to manipulate your vote,
but if you've seen it and if you thought a 1.3 is being too kind, let 'em know.
Reader Comments (7)
God...Swept Away...Why Guy Richie?? But at least it had it's redeeming quality of seeing Madonna smacked around. I just hoped Richie was off set yelling harder.
I really think Gigli is the worst movie I've ever seen. I sat through it all just so I could make that statement honestly. Affleck trying to convert another lesbian, the retarded kid who is generically retarded (some sort of turrets mixed with anything else they could make fit)
I'm sorry I can't Give Disaster Movie a chance, not without beating my skull against something in the realization that doing so would not do near the damage as the movie would.
I may be the only one who thanks the Lord for the existence of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer- because they make me seem less of a vile pox on movies!
Battlefield Earth, anyone?
I mean, it's not that it was written by L. Ron Hubbard, it's just that it was genuinely the most awful movie I've ever seen, it amazes me that an Oscar winner like Forest Whitaker couldn't even do a half-way decent job, infact, his acting was down right horrible in that movie, everything about it, the story, the awful dialogue, the constant use of dutch angles (THIS IS NOT A SAM RAIMI, TIM BURTON, GUS VAN SANT OR TERRY GILLIAM FILM, SO FUCK OFF WITH THE DUTCH ANGLES IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE 'EM), the lame special effects, it was just the bottom of all bottoms in it's field. Everything was painfully bad, it was the kind of movie that is made, just so forum members can make a satirical list of "Things we learnt from Battlefield Earth".
I mean, some movies are so bad that they transcend bad and become something beautiful and new. Batman and Robin is a fine example of a movie so bad, that you can't help but enjoy yourself. As with Troll 2. However, most Uwe Boll films, with the exception of that Jason Statham one that was unintentionally fucking hilarious, transcend bad, to good, and then go full circle like a kid on a swing set, all the way back to bad. It's a 360 degree back to awful. Battlefield Earth not only did the 360, but it then divided by zero and went into it's own dimension of awful. It truly was the worst film I have ever seen. I honest to god got so bored, it was 3 oclock in the morning, I started riding an exercise bike at 3 in the morning because the movie was that fucking terrible I didn't want to concentrate on it, but it intent on finishing it, just so I could say I did.
Obviously you have not seen the "gem" by the name of Home Alone 4. You have not felt misery until you start watching this so called "film". It's supposed to be related to the first 2 home alone's, as it involves the McCallisters again. Actually, I'm not even going to get into it....Just try giving this pile of garbage a gander and see if its not worse than Disaster Movie.
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