Monday
15Sep2008
Vin Diesel Up for xXxessive Sequel
Monday, September 15, 2008 at 3:58AM 
Clearly, I must be missing something.
Vin Diesel
has only had four hits, one in 2000, one in 2001, one in 2002, and one in 2005.
The last hit was The Pacifier, not exactly the most explosive,
action-packed adrenaline rush in the world.
His past two big budget action flicks,
Babylon A.D. and
The Chronicles of Riddick, were both stiffs,
winning over neither audiences nor critics. Despite that fact and the knowledge that he's made more box office losers than winners,
Latino Review
reports that Columbia Pictures still wants Diesel to return as Xander Cage in the
appropriately titled xXx: The Return of Xander Cage.
Please, contain your excitement.
As of now, all we have is an idea and that title.
There's no script. Some would argue that xXx: State of the Union had no
script, either. In fact, I hope I never forget the dumbest line of dialogue I've
ever heard in a big budget movie. Scott Speedman plays an FBI agent or something
in the xXx sequel that stars Ice Cube, and he shouts the following
instruction to his fellow agents when they think they have their man cornered:
"I want to talk to speak to this man alive!"
I'll let that sink in.
So after the sequel bombed and Diesel's own action
movies have bombed, why the sudden interest? I would suggest a paucity of good
ideas. What else could it be? Both Diesel and director
Rob Cohen
have agreed in principle to return. Great...another Rob Cohen movie. This news
keeps on getting worse. Honestly, though, how could a roomful of important
people at a major studio kick around ideas and settle on this one? I think
watching a movie about the discussion to make a third xXx movie has more
going for it than the third xXx movie could possibly generate.
Hey, remember when Diesel said he couldn't juggle all
these franchises and he chose between Fast and the Furious, xXx,
and Riddick? Now he's back doing all three. And very little else.
Colin Boyd | Permalink | in Sequels, Vin Diesel, xXx | Print Article | Email Article | 3 Comments | Share Article
Reader Comments (3)
You know why this news is slightly weird? Because to explain his absence from the distinctly iffy sequel, Xander Cage's character was KILLED OFF (using a body double) in a sequence shot for the follow-up, but eventually included as a bonus feature for the re-release of the xXx DVD.
What a tawdry mind rape Mr. Diesel's career has become for hapless viewers. The only good thing that series had going for it was some Asia Argento... I think the next thing Diesel should do is a sequel to that "memorable" Stallone comedy of yesteryear, "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot." They can bring back Estelle Getty, prop her up on a board, and Vin will still have his bald scalp handed to him by the late Mrs. Petrillo...
The best parts of that comment: 1) Mind Rape 2) Propping up Estelle Getty on a board.