'Beverly Hills Ninja 2'...With David Hasselhoff

Striking while the iron is hot, Sony is set to make a sequel to Beverly Hills Ninja. Wait a minute...didn't the first one completely suck? Yes, yes it did. But that doesn't matter, even though it didn't make a ton of money. Apparently, we're now ready to follow that story again. Great. And just when I was about ready to start carving titles into granite for my Sequels We Didn't Need Memorial. Now the columns are all wonky. The news gets worse, however. Among the stars: The Hoff. Yep, David Hasselhoff will join Lucas Grabeel from High School Musical and a gorgeous model/actress named Lin Chiling. Even though Variety says Sony holds North American distribution rights, can you really see this making it to theaters? This smells like a direct-to-DVD product to me. Even still, Sony is looking at releasing the movie in May. Supposing it gets theatrical distribution, who wants in on the action that the studio will eventually move this to the last weekend in August? Mitch Klebanoff, who wrote the original Beverly Hills Ninja, has also finely tuned to script for the sequel, and he'll direct it, too. Well now, there's a point in its favor, huh? The story revolves around "an orphaned boy who wants to be a ninja but becomes involved in a crime in Hollywood while looking for his real parents." Now I know you're interested...