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Friday
01May2009

Movie Review - 'The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past'

DateFriday, May 1, 2009 at 12:05AM
The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, and Michael Douglas
Directed by Mark Waters
Rated PG-13

girlfriendspastposter.jpg You have wondered how a movie got made. Not from a technical standpoint, but how the idea you're watching unfold ever made it through the proper channels. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past answers that question pretty early on.

I can imagine a producer looking at the one-page treatment of the film, a summary that says, "It's A Christmas Carol substituting Scrooge with a womanizer. He's confronted by the way he uses and discards women while being reminded that he's had true love within his reach his entire life."

The producer throws a face onto the treatment - Matthew McConaughey - and begins reading the script. Connor Mead is a photographer, and a damn good one. After shooting a gorgeous singer for an upcoming magazine cover, he takes her into his office for a little...uh...extra exposure. Before he can sleep with the singer, he has to break up with three other girls via conference call.

The producer is hooked. Nothing that happens after the conference call break-up really matters. The treatment already put that modern spin on the Charles Dickens classic, the producer loves the McConaughey idea, and just think of how good that break-up will look in the TV commercials. This movie is getting made!

The problem is that Ghosts of Girlfriends Past wastes the central idea, which is a good enough one, and the conference call is maybe six minutes into the movie. Good luck wading through the rest of it; it doesn't improve much.

Mead is visited by the ghost of his Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas), a lothario who died alone but with a list of conquests longer than the Great Wall of China. Uncle Wayne's message is simple: "Don't be like me. Fall in love with your co-star, Jennifer Garner ." Mead then goes on a journey through his past, observes his present, and looks into his future, and it's not a pretty picture.

McConaughey has given us a version of Connor Mead in nearly all of his romantic comedies, and none of them are terribly convincing. Jennifer Garner does not play sarcasm well, and unfortunately, that's a primary thrust of her character; when she is the willing object of affection, she's much better than when she's channeling Janeane Garofalo.

There is a fantastic update of A Christmas Carol; it's called Scrooged. It's great because it isn't content to just use the plot device, the way Ghosts of Girlfriends Past does. It's great because Bill Murray portrays a character you want to watch and creates something original. But very little here jumps off the screen with the exception of the terrific Michael Douglas, who is essentially playing legendary Hollywood producer Robert Evans as some kind of undead superhero.

And if I were watching that movie, I'd never wonder why it got made.

AuthorColin Boyd | | in , , , , | Print ArticlePrint Article | | Comment1 Comment |

Reader Comments (1)

The fact that you think Jennifer Garner is not like Janeane Garofalofit is the best news I've heard all week!

Saturday, May 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKXB

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