Movie Review - 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Starring Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Ian McShane and Geoffrey Rush Directed by Rob Marshall Rated PG-13

Jack Sparrow (reprised by the one and only Johnny Depp) finds himself once again maneuvering through harried situations, leaping off an alarming amount of cliffs and walks around as if he were stuck on trip he wasn't particularly interested to begin with. Sure Jack can muster all the one-liners he likes, but the message is clear: We've come to expect the unexpected, regardless if it makes any sense. Thankfully, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is self-contained in this rather dull installment of searching for the mythical Fountain of Youth and doesn't make a mess by keeping its story simple and straightforward, unlike previous installments.

What's even more alarming is that in the hands of Rob Marshall, On Stranger Tides fails in strange hands. The film plods away with unimaginative direction by Rob Marshall. He tries inserting a quaint scene between Angelica and Jack, as the try to dance sultrily to a non-existent chemistry between the two. The newest addition to the Pirates franchise is Angelica (Penélope Cruz), love-scorned by Jack, she brings him along to the fountain of youth because she does (or still doesn't) love Jack. No matter how hard the film tries convincing us that Angelica and Jack have this undeniable chemistry, they fell into this routine oddly resembling an old bickering couple.

Angelica also is, and for a while isn't, the daughter of the infamous Blackbeard. A villain lacking the sleek CGI tentacles of Davey Jones, Blackbeard (Ian McShane) gave a more human approach to villainy. He's just a man, sailing the seas seeking life ever lasting. He also uses his sword, as if it were channel magic, to control his ship. He's also a voodoo doll maker, he's especially fond to make one of Jack Sparrow.

Blackbeard wielding his sword, the source in controlling his ship.

Along the way, somewhere between chucking Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann overboard, the franchise though it fit to bring back Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) who was cut down a peg (pun intended). Losing his ship, and leg to an assault by Blackbeard and his crew (no flashback? i'm surprised), Barbossa works for the British monarchy and King George (Richard Griffiths, as a pink-hued man-child) in finding the Fountain of Youth and is seeking revenge against his nemesis Blackbeard. His arrival early on in the film was a surprise, but not as surprising as a cameo by a British actress who sadly should come back for the inevitable follow-ups. There was all-to-brief exchange of hilarity between Jack and his father Captain Teague (Keith Richards) on what proper lighting can do for a man's complexion.

Jack Sparrow doing his thing.

Its actually that sequence that On Stranger Tides felt like the cool swashbuckling Jack Sparrow... ahem, Captain Jack Sparrow (keeping with the slightly tired running gag of Jack never having a ship to sail) leaping on chandeliers, snatching a creamy desert, hoping from one wagon to another and ending at a stop that gives us a humorous sight gag.

A forgettable love subplot.As always, the film plods along trying to insert a 2.0 version of Will and Elizabeth, both of whom are contrived one-dimensional "characters". Philip (Sam Claflin), a catholic aboard Blackbeard's ship (How dare he try to bring redemption to a man seeking life everlasting?) and a mermaid, Syrene (Astrid Berges-Frisbey), who slaps a sad face of innocence whenever she appears on screen. They resembled an ill conceived Shakespearean duo that weren't very interesting and their story concludes on a WTH?

There were some zombies (the compliant kind, not the ones who munch on brains) and mermaids who’re fanged underwater versions of vampires drawn to man made light and withered if exposed to sunlight. Disney too has to capitalize on these recent trendsetters. Then there's some random Spanish armada who're also seeking the Fountain of Youth for their own reasons motivated by their faith. Why is faith a motivator here? Who knows, they provided bodies for the third-act sword fight against Barbossa's British fighters and Blackbeard's zombie-fied henchmen.

The film was also light on CGI madness and thankfully, that's the most refreshing thing. In this fourth installment, the Pirates franchise the toned down CGI extravaganza. Everything felt more grounded with dueling swordfights and playing slights of the hand rather than gigantic sea creatures or fighting in the middle of a storm. A bare-bones and luscious scenery, left behind the madness of CGI'ed extravaganza and created a more palpable and less psychotic third act of confusion. No longer did we need to ask “who’s who again?”

Surprisingly enough, the 3D wasn't headache inducing, but added nothing to the storytelling nor was it readily noticeable. This latest entry was less convoluted that Dead Man's Chest and At World's End, the humor felt more natural rather than forceful, an unnecessary love subplot was inserted and will hopefully not resurface in any future installments. That is, if audiences come back to see Jack Sparrow's latest escapade.

Here's the trailer:

Comments

[BH]

Who writes these reviews? Clearly someone who caught The Big Lebowski on DVD as a cult movie, same as Austin Powers in the International Man of Mystery somewhere between 1997 and 1999. Making you at least 15 years old when you first caught on. And when did you start catching up on your Blood Simples' and Miller's Crossings? At least attribute them to an actual author. I mean honestly, a 5 Abiding Dude rating system! Why don't you just use the standard sliding scale of 4 plates of Jasinkis? I would love to get paid to do this?

[Dolce & Gabbana Pumps for less]

-Dolce & Gabbana Pumps for lessAngelica also is, and for a while isn't, the daughter of the infamous Blackbeard. A villain lacking the sleek CGI tentacles of Davey Jones, Blackbeard (Ian McShane) gave a more human approach to villainy. He's just a man, sailing the seas seeking life ev

[Danmark]

This movie pales in comparison to the first. It is not as good as the second or third either. It is bad enough that I actually had to stop watching it and take a break. It just seems cheesy to the point of being stupid. There are a few scenes that make it watchable though. The mermaid scene is really cool and reminds me of the quality of the first movie alot.

[john king]

You cannot go wrong with this movie at all. There is so many great actors in this movie. You will not be disappointed at all when you see it. I just loved it so much. phone systems orlando