Memo to Nic Cage: Negative, 'Ghost Rider', the Pattern is Full

My ears are burning. Is someone talking about me?

When you’re reading this I hope it’s from your smart phone as you should already be standing in line for the new movie, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.  Yeah, boys and girls, this Friday, it’s on!   Wait, what?   No, I’m not lying.  There is a new Ghost Rider movie coming in 4 days.  No, Nic Cage movies aren’t going straight to DVD…yet. 

Nic Cage, or maybe it’s John Travolta, is back as Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider.   Am I a fan?  If you put a gun to my head I don’t think I could tell you the plot to the first Ghost Rider.   But really that’s not the point is it?  The new movie, like the first one, will feature lots of things that go boom, things that are on fire, and dialogue that is simple yet elegant, “Roadkill”.  Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor (aka Neveldine/Taylor) are the directors.  Or should I say, the auteurs of movies that go boom.

Here is a short montage style interview with Mr. Cage telling us, in classic Nic Cage fashion, how awesome this movie is going to be.  I can tell you in less time how ridiculously bad this movie will be.  It’s a Nic Cage movie directed by the dudes who gave us the Crank movies.   But you’re all adults and I’ll let you make your own informed decision.  Free will baby!

Mr. Cage definitely needs something that makes a little coin.  He’s had a law of diminishing returns lately (Sorcerer's Apprentice-63 million, Season of the Witch-24 million, Drive Angry-10 million and Trespass-24K). 

Will I go see it?  I guess.  I am a sucker for bad Nic Cage movies and believe or not, This Means War looks even worse.

 And yes, that was a Face/Off reference I threw your way….BOOM!