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Movie Review: '3 Days to Kill'

3 Days to Kill

Starring Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld
Directed by McG
Rated R

Before I or we move further with this review, I would like you to take a minute to look at the resume of one Luc Besson.  Go ahead, click on his name and take a peak…I’ll wait.  He’s one prolific dude huh?  Just looking at his writing credits over the past few years, something tells me he doesn’t spend a lot of time laboring over a script…turn and burn is a good term to use.  But that also leads to most of the movies he’s involved with (along with his production company Europa) are moderately priced  easily disposable action movies that could be good, but always seem to feel incomplete and way sillier than any action movie has any right to be.  But Besson, like Paul W.S. Anderson, has the power of the overseas market to help him continue to fund his projects.  McG, the director who clearly looks upon Besson’s earlier directorial efforts as inspiration, hasn’t had the productivity as Besson but like Besson, his star shot up pretty quickly only to fizzle just as quick.  So what should these two do but team up for yet another disposable action movie right?

The result is 3 Days to Kill, a movie where the title is 100 times cooler than what actually ends up on screen.  But I’ll admit, this movie had me on the hook for the first 30 minutes.   To the point where I actually thought to myself that this may end up being a 4 Abiding Dude film.  How quickly my mind changed as the movie dragged on.  Besson clearly loves the human condition and the struggles that come with that, but he struggles with it when it comes to actually trying to convey that with his writing.  That can be a big problem when your movie, with the word kill in the title, suddenly turns into a family drama, with some action sprinkled into round out the running time.  I could mention McG (I will in a minute) or Besson’s co-writer on 3 Days to Kill, but you can tell this is Besson’s baby, so I’m placing most of the blame with him.


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New 'Godzilla' Trailer Will Make You A Believer

For me, there was always one big barrier in making a Hollywood Godzilla movie: Nobody takes Godzilla seriously, the fans most of all.  They know he's just a guy in a goofy rubber suit.  That's part of the people.  The goofiness is part of what gives him his personality.  Any kind of serious treatment is going to remove that, so how much hope does it really have?  Well, it turns out the answer is "a whole damn lot", if this trailer is any indication.

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Dennis Rodman's Kim Jong-Un Bro-mance Inspires Upcoming Film

I didn't really care about professional basketball when I was a kid in the 90's, and I still knew who Dennis Rodman was.  If you're lucky enough not to,  imagine Michael Jordan crossed with Rue Paul crossed with that creepy homeless man who lives in that alley.  That's Dennis Rodman.  Lately, he's been making the headlines for visiting North Korea and developing a positive relationship with brutal dictator Kim Jon-un, who last made headlines for having his Uncle executed.  Now, you might be seeing a movie about it.

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Movie Review: 'Pompeii'


Starring: Kip Harrington, Emily Browning, Kiefer Sutherland
Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
Rated PG-13


Dear Movie 43 and The Host,

You may no longer be the worst movies I have ever seen.  There is a new sheriff in town.

That right there could be my entire review.  And believe me, it hard for me to not just leave it like that.  But I’m an adult, damn it and I have a lot to say about Pompeii. First though, I would like to say this is the second movie I have seen by Paul W.S. Anderson (the first being the equally awful Event Horizon).  Since then, the only time I’ve mention the lesser Anderson’s name is to either make a joke, or correct someone when they think he directed Boogie Nights.  Anderson’s movies, despite being the fodder for people who liken him to Uwe Boll (and they aren’t far off), continues to keep a presence in the film world.  Why?  His movies make money, more specifically; they make international money…lots of it.   And now W.S. Anderson gives us his biggest movie yet (in terms of budget) and makes an entire audience walk out of the theater, Charlie Brown style, ashamed they just paid money to see it. 

Walking into Pompeii, I knew what I was getting into; I just didn’t realize how bad the situation was.  The movie is equal parts Roland Emmerich disaster porn and bad soap opera storylines.  And for a film that cost $100 million dollars, looks like a cheap video game.   I might have been more forgiven had Anderson gone the way of Emmerich and skirted storylines for just lots of action and explosions.   But he clearly had bigger aspirations for a Titanic type grandiose story and there is a part of me that wants to give Anderson a little credit for attempting such a feat.   But that credit gets buried under the ashes of every bad move this movie makes.  It makes so many mistakes….so many.

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Critical Hit's Month-Azaki Part 2: 'Howl's Moving Castle'

Howl's Moving Castle is, even by Hayao Miyazaki standards, and incredibly odd and obscure film.  THe bubbles of the plot are only partially delivered it to you, and when you couple that with the fact that it's a loose adaptation of an already strange dutch fairy-tail novel, it can sometimes be a bit difficult to get.  So, that's probably why it ended up leading to one of the more interesting episodes of StoryForge's Critical Hit!  Check out the video after the jump.

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