Britney Spears, Time Machines, World War II

If I'm not mistaken, the last time I paid attention to Britney Spears, she was trying to solve the Zodiac Killer case. She watched the movie, understood it (we're guessing), and began sleuthin', y'all!

But as far as acting, there hasn't been anything to talk about vis a vis the former Federline since the cameo on How I Met Your Mother, and even then, could we really call it acting? According to OnTheFlix, Spears has been offered a period piece, which would mark her first film role since Crossroads. And who among us hasn't been thirsting for that moment? Who knows whether or not it's true - I'm batting cleanup for Team False - but the movie is reportedly The Yellow Star of Sophia and Eton, and the Slave 4 U would be playing Sophia LaMont, who builds a time machine, goes back to the 40s, falls in love with a Jewish prisoner in a concentration camp, and tries to bring him back...to the future!

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Rumor Patrol: Britney in 'Sex and the City' Sequel

MTV UK reports that Britney Spears might parlay her little career resurgence into a role in the Sex and the City sequel, tentatively titled Do We Have To? Wait...They're Paying Us How Much?. Now, this information is based completely on hearsay, so I doubt any bit of it's true, but it's not like we've been immune from commenting on baseless stories before.

Citing a blurb in Heat Magazine, which, it's fair to say, does not have the journalistic reputation of The Economist, MTV UK says that Sarah Jessica Parker is looking for a new girl to bring into the fold, as a way of passing the baton to a new generation of drunk, desperate women. The quote attributed to Parker, one we simply do not believe, is, "My idea is to have someone like Britney Spears move to New York as my cousin or niece and Carrie would show her the ropes."

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Ledger's Death Named Top Entertainment Story of 2008

Mirroring the rest of the world, there were very few positive stories among the year's biggest entertainment headlines. The Associated Press ranked the death of Heath Ledger as the top story of the year, and perhaps because the news cycle moves so quickly now, his untimely passing seems like it happened even longer ago. Death was a common theme on the list, which also included the Writers Guild of America strike, the constant trainwreck of Britney Spears' life, the rise of political comedy, and the enormous success of The Dark Knight among its biggest stories of the year. 1 - The death of Heath Ledger 2 - The writers' strike ends 3 - The Dark Knight 4 - Political comedy shines 5 - Britney Spears' downward spiral 6 - The death of Paul Newman 7 - TV Networks embrace the web 8 - The death of George Carlin 9 - The death of Tim Russert 10 - Jennifer Hudson's family tragedy From a movie perspecitve, I'm a little surprised to not see Robert Downey Jr. or Twilight mentioned anywhere. At the very least, it would've lightened the list up a tad.

QT Casting News: Eli Roth for 'Bastards,' Britney for 'Faster Pussycat'?

In the world of Quentin Tarantino, it's never safe to run with an assumption. That's the reason we didn't even bother reporting on the rumor that QT wanted Leonardo DiCaprio for his upcoming war movie, Inglorious Bastards. Turns out, Leo won't be involved, so that saved us a cozy 30 minutes of writing. However, we did talk about the rumors that Brad Pitt would join the cast; apparently, they're still in negotiations, although I still have my doubts, based on Pitt's schedule and when Tarantino wants to shoot the film. We do have Bastards casting news, though. It's been officially announced that torture porn director Eli Roth will play Sgt. Donnie Donowitz, a Jewish, bat swinging Nazi hunter. That should tie in nicely with Roth's obvious and untamed thirst for seeing blood in movies. Now I get to ask a question you should never ask about a big, tough war movie directed by one of the most influential directors of his generation: Can this guy act? Probably not. Oh, sure, he's been in movies, but he's never been a major player. The trouble is, I can think of talented actors who'd be much better for this role, if only because I know they can act. Now, I won't say this is a mistake, because Tarantino has made a name for himself in part because he makes unpredictable casting decisions. I'll just say it will very likely be a mistake. How's that? But there's more room on the Tarantino casting couch today. The Telegraph reports that QT wants Britney Spears to star in his upcoming remake of Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! She'd play Varla, a lesbian stripper who kills a guy and kidnaps his girlfriend, then has some lesbo sex. As you can see from the picture, she's believable in a fit of rage. Again I ask, can she act? No, and we've seen plenty of evidence of it. Even her guest starring role on How I Met Your Mother was laughable (although everyone over at Access Hollywood thought she was so cute!) Plus, think of all the free publicity. Hell, he should just cast Lohan and Paris Hilton to round out the cast.

Of course, you could argue that it matters less with Faster Pussycat! because it has a distinctive camp quality. There are movies that are so bad they're good, after all, and plenty of people would argue that Russ Meyer kind of wanted that out of his movies, anyway.

It's a different story with Inglorious Bastards, or else why would Tarantino blab about Leo DiCaprio, and why won't the Brad Pitt rumors go away? I will say, though, that if the father of the year woke up this morning to change a houseful of diapers and saw that one of his potential co-stars was the director of Hostel, he might have some question how serious QT is about the project.